Monday, February 23, 2009

Confession of a Drama Queen!!

Wow..what a title given to me..and yet I felt honoured. Ye la..musim-musim Oscar ni kan..and it just ended few hours ago..Can I give my speech now?? I'M THANKING THE JURIES, JUDGES AND MY FANS..I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET THIS HONOURED ACHIEVEMENT IF IT WASN'T BECAUSE OF MY ENVIRONMENT..THANK YOU EVERYONE..HOPE TO SEE U AGAIN NEXT YEAR!!

I have to admit..for the past 2 months, this blog has been my bestest friend. All it have to do is just listen..owh!how I wonder if it can talk..most probably he'd say the same thing..'Owh!u bitchy drama queen?just stop it or I'll delete u'..hahaha..duuh...are u dare??or maybe I'll delete u first..haha!! Ok, what is this Drama Queen is all about..?To be truth, I dunno!! But I think I have an idea of what it is about..haha...Where shall I start??OK la...Once upon a time...(very lame)..

Can one ever imagine when u've been working 7 days a week, for 6 weeks - and u are damn exhausted n tired,What will happen to u then?Grumpy?Moody?..Yeah...just to name few of the symptoms. To make things worst, u r doing almost everything at one time? u r organising this, organising that, catching the deadline of this and that, entertaining parents enquiries and favor to do this, do that, which by right they have to do it themselves and even answered the fucking phone which most question being asked were such a stupid questions-that u even can find it in the website. To make things worst, there are too many heads instructing u to do this and that, and most of the times the instruction overlapped/different from one another...and u have a dateline to catch???It may sounded like 'aah..it normal...'..IT MIGHT sound like that..but..if it is well organised things will never get this worst. Why am I doing this again?Yeah, there are few people helped..and i truely deeply appreciated what they did for me..but..one thing about me..I just dont know how to instruct people..I'd rather keep in quiet and try my best to finish them. Seriously I dont mind. But what surprise me was, is it normal or not..if a person called human..had an overload task sometimes gets a lil bit of emotional like grumpy+moody+stress etc. I'm a type of person, if I'm stressed out..I'll finished the work but my mouth will never stop mumbling. Bear in mind, just IGNORE what ever came out from my mouth cos I DON'T MEAN IT!It's just a medium of expressing dissappointment and stress. That even happened since I was little when I'm at home. Example, when my house untidy, I voluntarily will clean up the house BUT my mouth will never stop mumbling until I finish. What's the issue?want me to change them??I've tried but that's what GOD gave to me..Once during my childhood I was a stubborn girl..once I get older..late teenager I reckon..I've started to learn to view things positively and see the good side of everything. However, we wouldnt know how long we are able to try, there are some occasions where I slipped from the path..due to unforeseen circumstances..Hey!I'm human anyway, tell me, who doesnt make mistakes. I do feel regret that some people wants me to be perfect but apparently they aren't...

Tengok..dah merapu mana hala tah...tu la dia...dont get me started. Sometimes I dont blame these people..cos they might not have the whole idea what 'work stress' is all about. Once when I was in internship year 2004, I thought I knew..but apparently I dont..the stresses are very different. Once I got into the real thing..as asst.producer, loan officer etc..the stress is different cos WE ARE PAID TO PERFORM, WE ARE PAID TO DO THE JOB WELL..ALTHOUGH WE GOT THE SUCKEST JOB IN THE WORLD..I dunno whether am angry or not with these people, part of me says that maybe they are immature in understanding the fact of work..part of me a bit shocked with the title given to me..All am praying that one day, they'll experience what I was mumbling about. One would never learn until they felt it. Back to the question 'DO I DESERVE TO GET THE TITLE?'.. again its up to u guys..I think I deserve it when I'm facing this whole lot of stress at work, come back home need to play the role of a daughter/grand daughter of an ill grandma...and believe me...its very difficult to take care of the older people yang banyak sangat ragam..and yet u are already tired at work..Surprisingly am not that mad with these people for the title (like I said I also know how see the positive side in people)..Cos to me the level of stressness that I experienced is normal. The most stressful moment was when u r unemployed and that's when u think u'd rather die. Buat apa study tinggi but dont understand people's behaviour..what's the purpose of learning consumer behavior and advanced consumer behavior courses if I dont implement it.. Tul x? ..Has these people ever think that I really want this to happen to me? Its way beyond my control..As conclusion, what I learnt from this..one should always remember, one day one shall need to move out from the comfort zone and that's when one's emotions and mental will be tested as soft as it may or as hard as it may..Once u r in this working line...u cant please everyone eventhough your officemate, friends etc..u'll think of non-other than ur responsibility and work commitment..and dont be surprised when one will lose the freedom of socialising, losing the sense of friendship, sense of measuring and almost lose everything except for one's career..That's when u know what am shitting about!And I shall say..WELCOME TO THE ACTUAL SHIT!! :)

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